I received a Christmas card in the mail today from a high school friend. It was literally pages long, beautifully designed and captured the entire past year in narrative and photos. It was, by all accounts, the story of the quintessential family, with testimonials as to how perfect each of their 3 children are in their respective extracurricular activities, how rewarding each of the couples’ jobs were, how adventuresome each of their trips were and on and on and on. And it annoyed the hell out of me. It was all a little too perfect, especially because I happen to know what goes on behind the scenes in this particular family. They’re a REAL family, with ups and downs like everyone. But the Martha Stewart mask put on this particular letter really just made me question the lengths to which this family went to showcase how fabulous they are. And why they felt compelled to do so.
And so this letter got me thinking about perfection. The opportunity cost of perfection. The difference between excellence and perfection.
Interestingly, when I looked up “perfection” in Wikipedia, it provided pages upon pages of historical origins, references, contexts – so much more than I could have imagined. One of the things that stood out to me was under the “Physics and Chemistry” subheading. Various concepts of “perfection” were outlined – many of which were not naturally occurring but rather an ideal…states that didn’t exist unless chemically manipulated. For example, “The physicist designates as a perfectly rigid body, one that ‘is not deformed by forces applied to it.’ He uses the concept in the full awareness that this is a fictitious body, that no such body exists in nature. The concept is an ideal construct.” Or “A perfect fluid is one that is incompressible and non-viscous — this, again, is an ideal fluid that does not exist in nature.”
And isn’t this what we, as a society, have attempted to do? To appear perfect, like my friend’s Christmas card, we manipulate our own reality….to our friends, to our family, to our customers. I read, with horror, that Jennifer Hudson lip-synched her perfect rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl and that the inaugural performance by Yo-Yo-Ma and Itzhak Perlman was pre-recorded. Does excellence have to equal perfection? And at what cost? How much effort and time are you putting into this manipulation – into appearing to be something you’re not?
The other part of the Wikipedia history lesson that I found incredibly interesting was the historical paradox of perfection and the theory that true perfection was, in fact, imperfection. That if the world were truly perfect, there would be nothing to strive for, nothing to improve upon. Think about this from your own experience. You’re probably the person you are today, the business owner you are today because of the lessons you’ve learned from the past. Somehow I doubt you’d label those lessons as examples of your own personal perfection.
And here’s the thing about manipulating reality to conjure up this smokescreen of perfection. No one’s buying it. And if they do buy it, they’ll pass you by because they can’t relate. By creating a zip code in Perfectville in which your family or your business supposedly lives, you build walls that alienate you from “your people”. And trust me, you need “your people”.
Now, all this being said, consider an alternate definite of perfection: that which completely achieves its purpose, or that which is fully harmonious. Now these are definitions of perfection that may be worth striving for. But this assumes you know your purpose and refer to it often. It assumes you know the elements that must be in harmony in your business and your life. It assumes a “realness” that not everyone is ready to reveal. It takes courage to strive for this type of perfection. So go ahead, be the perfectionist – just change your definition of perfection.
Latest Comments